Best of Apex Magazine. Volume 1

How fun is this cover?!

Where I got the book

LibraryThing Early Reviewers, as an eBook.

Why I’m reading

I just finished For Exposure, an autobiography by Jason Sizemore, the creator and editor of Apex Magazine -- so of course I want to see what all the fuss was about.

Expectations

A collection of (hopefully high-quality) scifi short stories. I’ve got to get the taste of Joy to the Worlds out of my mouth...

How was it?

I started this months ago, but just finished the last few. I love short stories, but collections are hard to finish than novels -- there’s no ‘what happens next?!’ when you finish each story in one sitting. The whole thing blew me away, really; I really haven’t been reading enough of this sort of thing. I was expecting much more strict scifi, but these stories were a fantastic mix of scifi, fantasy, horror (Gothic, not slasher), thought experiments, and old campfire ghost stories. What struck me is that these stories all played to the strengths of the short story, tossing the reader into the middle of a world and letting them figure things out as they go. Some felt unfinished or not fully realized, which isn’t a bad thing. Weirdly enough, it’s something I see often in good fanfiction: stories that are allowed to be ephemeral and experimental rather than definitive. The stories feel shorter than Joy to the Worlds, but I can’t tell if they’re actually shorter or just less painful to read…  

Jackalope Wives // Ursula Vernon
A short, dark fantasy story about shape-changing jackalope wives, in the style of an old fairy tale -- the kind that were weird and twisted and creepy as hell.  

Going Endo // Rich Larson
This whacks you right over the head with the sort of technobabble future-speak that usually comes off trite, but this time it sets a great mood -- it sounds like natural slang, and there are no Importantly Capitalized Nouns. It’s a slice of life from some kind of militarized bio-VR company engineer… and then also sex. Cheeky!

 Candy Girl // Chikodili Emelumadu
A quick and dirty voodoo story that's like something out of a dream - random and strange,but not terrifying. Wickedly vindictive.

 If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love // Rachel Swirsky
Starts out a bit like Neil Gaimon’s The Day the Saucers Came or If You Give a Mouse a Cookie -- mostly nonsense. Ends a bit like the song If You Could See Her from Cabaret.  

Advertising at the End of the World // Keffy R.M. Kehrli
A post-apocalyptic survivor and the hi-tech remnants of advertising culture. A little sad; probably a metaphor for old age. Strangely comfortable.  

The Performance Artist // Lettie Prell
A performance artist explores the connection between self and machines. I didn't really connect with this one, but, well... she nailed performance art. Imaginative, though.

A Matter of Shapespace // Brian Trent
All mass (humanity included) can be transmitted and manipulated electronically, through simple thought commands. A little like The Matrix, a little like I, Rowboat I like it. http://www.flurb.net/1/doctorow.htm  

Falling Leaves // Liz Argall
Two outcast teen girls connect (sort of) in a post apocalyptic society. Post apocalyptic teenage angst. Meh.  

Blood from Stone // Alethea Kontis
Summoning demons and dark, twisted love... except, yeah, I've read tons of stuff that's darker and more twisted. Your standard Gothic fare: not a bad read, but nothing special.  

Sexagesimal // Katharine E.K. Duckett
This one was weird - a trippy and very unique take on death, with an afterlife that runs on a memory-based economy.  

Multo // Samuel Marzioli
Are you afraid of the dark? A simple story that perfectly captures the old childhood fear that kept us tucked safely under our quilts at night.  

Keep Talking // Marie Vibbert
Like contact, a little bit, I guess? But with autism and interpretive dance? I wasn’t a fan of this one.  

Remembery Day // Sarah Pinsker
Another one about memory, this time focusing on memory and war. Definitely a thought exercise on the question of memory: are we better off remembering bad things (like war)? If we could forget, should we -- as an individual, and as a society?

Blood on Beacon Hill // Russell Nichols
Immortal vampires are just as messed up by family and society as mortals are.  

The Green Book // Amal El-Mohtar
Epistolary. A man, his mentor, a talking book who was once a girl, a sort of shadowy religious order, and absolutely zero context. Interesting.  

L’espirit de L’escalier // Peter M. Ball
An endless stairwell three sharpies and a bottle of ashes: that’s it. I love the lack of context.  
Still Life (A Sexagesimal Fairy Tale) // Ian Tregillis
In a palace that time forgot, a clock maker - the only person who can age - falls in love and builds magical time pieces.  

Build-a-Dolly // Ken Liu
We're cruel to our toys.  

Armless Maidens of the American West // Genevieve Valentine
An armless girl (woman?) wandering the forest -- like a local ghost story, except everyone knows she's real and just doesn't pay much attention. A commentary on ignoring suffering of others simply because it's the way things are.

Pocosin // Ursula Vernon
A tired witch and a dying possum god. Very atmospheric.  

She Gave Her Heart, He Took Her Marrow // Sam Fleming
A mentally ill girl in the middle of a sort-of zombie apocalypse. Very confusing at first. Err… very confusing at the end, too. Not quite a zombie story, but I got the same sort of vibe.

Eleanor // Jason Gurley

Why I'm reading
I almost skipped over this -- it seemed like your typical tug-on-your-heartstrings mother-daughter story. Then halfway through the summary, suddenly... Scifi?

Where I got the book
Received this from LibraryThing's early reviewer program.

Expectations
The summary was strange. 99% of it reads like something from Lifetime or Oprah's book list, until I realized trite phrases like "Eleanor's painful reality begins to unravel" and "Eleanor is torn from her world" are happening literally.

So how was it?

Eleanor is the story of three generations of women... mostly making each other miserable. It spans forty years (1962-1996), with a plot that jumps between Eleanor, her daughter Agnes', her daughters Eleanor (junior) and Esmeralda, and -- ready for the Scifi? -- a mysterious rift dimension. Oh, and a series of husbands/fathers who don't really help the situation.

I've been calling this all Scifi, but it's not really Science Fiction. It has the freedom and imagination of Scifi, but there's no science involved; it's closer to mythology. I would probably call it Fantasy, but it has no relation to familiar High Fantasy exemplified by Tolkien.

Recommendation
Extremely similar to the video game Life is Strange -- love, tragedy, time travel, and relationships between women. Vaguely similar to Donnie Darko, except A) it's not super-pretentious, and B) I didn't hate it.

Feels
Deals with grief and pain between generations of women. The cosmology reminds me of Egyptian or Tolkien's mythology.

Favorites
I thought I'd hate the myriad of characters introduced, but it was satisfying once everything came together. The story didn't constantly need to ram its own mystery/suspense down the reader's throat.

Least favorites
I guess I like that it bounced around between characters/times, but it did that a little too much.

Artemis Fowl // Eoin Colfer {Audiobook}

Why I'm reading
It’s one of those series/characters I keep hearing about, and it’s Scifi, and it’s available on audiobook.

Where I got the book
Greenwich!

Expectations
To be honest? Not high. I got pretty burnt by the trainwreck that is the Dresden Files, so I’m hesitant to start another popular scifi/fantasy detective series. Also, Artemis is a girls name.

So how was it?

The adventures of Artemis Fowl, pre-teen super-villain ; his bodyguard Butler ; fairy LEPrecon officer Holly Short ; the technical genius centaur Foaly ; and Mulch Diggums, a kleptomaniac dwarf.

Soooo much better than I expected. It’s not high literature (or even high fantasy) and it’s definitely YA, but it’s a good solid adventure with a well-built world and lots of interesting characters. Fairies are real, and they're technologically advanced. Awesome.

I’ve seen it billed as something similar to Sherlock Holmes, and Artemis is theoretically the villain... and while that’s not untrue, it’s not really accurate. Artemis himself certainly fits the idea of a young Sherlock well (or, since the audiobook reader gives him an Irish accent, BBC’s Moriarty) and some deduction happens, but the plot is more action/adventure than detective mystery. As for his villainy, you might not even notice that he’s the “villain” of the first story if he (and other characters) didn't keep mentioning it.

I blew through the whole series in a few days:

1. Artemis Fowl
   Twelve-year-old Artemis, super-villain in the making, kidnaps fairy officer Holly Short for a ransom of fairy gold.
2. The Arctic Incident
   Artemis and the fairy LEP reluctantly team up to fight a goblin conspiracy, led by an evil pixie.
3. The Eternity Code
   Artemis looses a piece of refitted fairy technology to an evil human businessman, and once again teams up with Holly and the LEP.
4. The Opal Deception
   Fairy LEP drafts Artemis to help prevent humans from finding and destroying a major fairy city.
5. The Lost Colony
   The demon island Hybras, banished millennia ago, returns to the normal time-stream.
6. The Time Paradox
   Artemis and Holly go back in time to save his mother from a magic-related illness; the timeline gets all sorts of messed up.
7. The Atlantis ComplexArtemis is suffering from magic-related paranoia and OCD, and is kidnapped.
8. The Last Guardian
   Artemis and Holly struggle to prevent an evil pixie from destroying the human race.

Recommendation
Fans of Scifi and Fantasy. I'd call this "techno-fantasy" or "techno-detective-fairies."

Feels
A little bit like like a detective story, a little like a classic YA novel (before they all got obsessed with love triangles and contests).

Favorites
I really can't choose. Technologically advanced fairies, for one. The ridiculous characters.

Least favorites
Okay, let me get this off my chest: OMG ARTEMIS IS A GIRL’S NAME. Greek goddess. Hello. I actually just met someone who didn’t know that. But hey, at least someone acknowledges that in the second book.

Fragile Things // Neil Gaiman {Audiobook}

Why I'm reading
Neil Gaiman is fantastic.

Where I got the book
Audiobook from Greenwich. Again.

So how was it?

A collection of short stories and poetry featuring Gaiman’s unique mixture of spooky, creepy, morbid, snarky, dark horror. Also includes lots a little tidbits of poetry interspersed between the chapters, and introductions/context in the foreword. The audiobook is read by Gaiman as well -- he’s brilliant.

The Mapmaker 
I wasn’t really sure about this one. It’s the story of a Chinese emperor who creates a miniature map of China in his garden. It’s extremely accurate and a huge drain of resources; then he dies, and the map is abandoned and grows over. Something about transience, maybe, and the whims of people in power.

A Study in Emerald 
Oh. my. god. Oh my god. I can’t even. This is a retelling of the Sherlock Holmes story A Study in Scarlet within the Cthulhu universe, where the ruling class consists of Lovecraftian monsters. That’s right: Gaiman wrote crossover fanfiction, and it is fantastic. Sent me into mental cascade failure by the end. I made Alan listen to it, it was so good. Read it here!

October in the Chair 
The seasons tell stories around the campfire; October tells an oddly peaceful horror story about a young runaway boy playing in a haunted graveyard. The framing (i.e. the seasons) was more memorable than the individual stories. There was a moment where the ghost’s story reminded me of Bradbury’s "Yes, We'll Gather at the River" -- sure enough, it’s dedicated to him.

Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire 
An author struggles to write realistic fiction, in a world where elaborate Gothic horror constitutes ‘realistic.’ A fun little turn-up of expectations.

The Flints of Memory Lane 
A tiny little story where the author -- like several of these, I’m not entirely sure if it’s really Gaiman, a fictional Gaiman, or just an arbitrary fictional author -- encounters a chilling gypsy woman. There’s no real backstory or follow-up, and that seems to be the point; some things are just unexplained and creepy.

Closing Time 
A few pub (club) goers tell ghost stories before closing up shop for the night. The main ghost story follows a young boy who falls in with three slightly older and more delinquent boys; they find a creepy old playhouse, and the older boys disappear inside. Turns out the youngest of the three is in the club. Nothing is really resolved. I’m not sure if it’s an allegory for loss of innocence, child abuse, or just the scattershot nature of stories.

Bitter Grounds 
A man drops his life and picks up another one at random, following where it leads, until he ends up at an anthropology conference in New Orleans and … something something something zombies? It’s a rambling story that actually makes sense as you read, but doesn’t have a cohesive plot.

Other People 
A man is tortured until he understands why he deserves to be tortured. Creepy and sad, although it’s hard to feel one way or the other about the main character without knowing why he deserves torture.

Keepsakes and Treasures: A Love Story 
A story about a (psychopathic?) young orphan overcoming his terrible upbringing, meeting the mysterious and insanely wealthy Mr. Alice, and becoming his devoted right-hand man. Surprisingly nasty; disturbingly satisfying in a way that’s seriously Not Good. No, despite my vocabulary, this is nothing like Sherlock!

Good Boys Deserve Favors 
Strangely endearing, I can’t really call this one ‘horror.’ It’s the story of a boy who takes up playing the double bass, although he has no particular passion for it -- and has one spontaneous moment of connection with the instrument. There wasn’t anything about this story that really stood out, but I liked the sense of having one perfect in-the-moment experience.

The Facts in the Case of the Departure of Miss Finch 
The narrator is invited to entertain his friends’ standoffish acquaintance; they all go to a really weird circus performance. Well written and entertaining (of course) but I didn’t really connect with this one.

Harlequin Valentine
I like Harlequin type characters (incidentally, Harley Quinn was my Halloween costume!) so I enjoyed this quasi-mythical take on the character/archetype of Italian theater. The story is sad if you empathize with the male main character, but delightful and fun if you consider Harlequin the main character -- exactly the kind of dark humor you want from a Harlequin. And his seamless transition into real life was so cool.

The Problem of Susan 
Another sort-of-fanfiction, this time in the Narnia universe. Not being familiar with Narnia, the source of her turmoil isn’t quite clear to me -- but I always appreciate fanfiction that goes for a darker, realistic, more complicated interpretation of simple/idealistic stories.

Instructions 
A poem with instructions on what to do if you find yourself in a fairy tale. Similar to The Evil Overlord List.

How Do You Think It Feels? 
A weird little story about a guy who cheats, falls in love with his young mistress, gets his heart broken… and makes a gross little stone demon? I didn’t connect with this one at all. Also, holy shit, this was porny! I mean, hey, I regularly listen to worse podfic, but Overdrive occasionally plays snippets before switching over to headphones, and I was listening to this at work D:

Feeders and Eaters 
A weird not-quite-zombie story with this undercurrent of unhealthy compulsion. It doesn’t quite make sense -- shouldn’t there be a more straightforward way to eat? -- but somehow that makes it creepier.

In the End 
Genesis in reverse; the last book of the Bible. Weird.

Goliath 
A little side story set in the Matrix universe, following one human as the war causes glitches in the Matrix. I loved the experience of a mostly regular human within a glitching Matrix!

Pages from a Journal Found in a Shoebox Left in a Greyhound Bus Somewhere Between Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Louisville, Kentucky 
A circular, dizzy adventure that feels like something between heatstroke and time travel.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties 
Two teenage boys -- your typical extrovert and introvert -- wander into a party full of alien tourists, looking to hit on girls. Apparently this is going to be a movie! I don’t think it has enough plot to be a movie, but John Cameron Mitchell is directing, so it can’t not be great.

The Day the Saucers Came 
I’ve heard this one before; it’s cute. As the world falls into elaborate and redundant ruin, the author is preoccupied with his love life.

Sunbird 
The gastronomical adventures of the Epicurean Society, an ages-long society dedicated to eating everything you could possibly eat. They’ve run out of new things to try, when one of the older members suggests the mysterious sunbird in Egypt. As fanciful as it was, this one felt weirdly reassuring.

Also, I couldn’t help but picture the character Methos from Highlander.

Inventing Aladdin 
The inner thoughts of Scheherazade -- the “author” of stories like Aladdin and Arabian Nights -- as she invents new passages every night so her sultan husband won’t behead her. Exactly as I’ve always pictured her; what an awful situation.

The Monarch of the Glen
A crazy, blurry take on Norse? pagan? mythology, (apparently) part of his American Gods novel. It follows Shadow, a reincarnation of a Norse hero, as he wanders into a small town. He ends up playing bodyguard -- and then the entertainment -- at a strange pagan party.

Inside Out {Movie}

Why I'm watching
It’s got incredibly good reviews, and Tina Fey Amy Poehler is the main character/voice.

Where I saw the movie
Local theater with Alan.

Expectations
Family friendly fun. I was hoping for something on par with Pixar’s other fantastic works, like Up! and Wall-E.

So how was it?

Inside Out is the story of a young girl, Riley, during her move from the Midwest to San Francisco -- or, rather, the story of her emotions. Joy, along with Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Sadness, try to make sense of Riley’s upheaval by exploring the metaphorical landscape of her mind.

Recommendation
EVERYONE. Literally everyone should see this movie. Including people who have already seen it. Go. Now.

Okay, no, this isn’t really a movie for younger children. It’s not going to be scary, but it deals with concepts that young children might not understand. They'll be super bored.

And if you're depressed, it's a great message, but it will make you feel all the emotions.

Feels
It’s beyond hilarious, but it’s also sweet and upsetting in places… and no, not upsetting like Up! It’s pretty much teaching an entire generation of children (and adults!) the importance of acknowledging and listening to sadness.

Favorites
As an individual character: Anger. Anger is ridiculously hilarious. But the star of this movie is absolutely the relationship (both literal and metaphorical) between Joy and Sadness.

Least favorites
I know a lot of people loved Riley’s imaginary character, and I appreciate his role in the story, but I didn’t actually connect with him as a character.

So what did I really think?

Click "read more"... massive spoilers ahead!

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children // Ransom Riggs {Audiobook}

Why I'm reading
I’d heard the title before, and it seemed pretty interesting. I actually went looking for this one, instead of just browsing.

Where I got the book
Greenwich/Overdrive.

Expectations
Harry Potter with less wizardry and a more circus/freak show vibe.

So how was it?

Soooo…. not actually what I was expecting. For one thing, there isn’t really a “school,” in the sense of Harry Potter (which I did find in the Finishing School series). And while it has a lot of YA themes, it didn’t feel constructed the way a lot of modern YA books do. It felt like the books I read (oh god am I about to say this) when I was younger, before YA was such an established genre. It reminded me of Hunky Dory Dairy.

The plot is fun. It requires you to suspend a whole lot of disbelief, but it’s fun. It’s not all that easy to explain without a blow-by-blow, but the basic premise is: there are “peculiar” children who have special powers or mutations (think side-show, not X-Men), who live in time-looped locations, and who therefore don’t age. The modern-day main character stumbles into this situation, after growing up hearing about all these kids from his grandfather, gets crazy confused, and eventually there’s some monster-fighting.

Recommendation
Fans of adventure stories, historical fiction, circus freak shows.

Feels
Fun, imaginative, much more fantasy than scifi.

Favorites
I love that the “peculiarities” are much more freak show than X-Men. They’re not always useful, or at least not always obviously so.

Least favorites
There is pretty much zero logic behind “peculiarities.”

Live Die Repeat // Tom Cruise {Movie}

Why I'm watching
I’m a big Tom Cruise fan, no matter how cray-cray he is… but mostly I’m watching because the plot looks awesome.

Where I got the movie
Greenwich library. Watching it on a plane to Arkansas!

Expectations
Tom Cruise living, dying, and repeating said process. If I had to take a stab at the plot, I’d say Cruise (and female costar) go to some kind of post-apocalyptic Earth to do...something?

So how was it?

Yeah, no, I’m now fairly certain that’s the plot to Cruise’s Oblivion, which I should probably see.

Anyway.

I really, really liked Live Die Repeat Edge of Forever Edge of Tomorrow. Like, holy crap, big-budget scifi action movies are making a comeback!

Cage seems like your typical Tom Cruise Military Dude at first, but we quickly find out he’s a useless cowardly asshole. As an actor, Cruise doesn’t have a huge range -- but when he deviates from his typical action hero role, he does it really well.

Things happen, he gets sent to the front lines, and accidentally gets stuck in a time loop. As this is the first we (or the military in general) hear anything about time manipulation, he’s justifiably WTF. His reaction to the time loop -- before and after he figures it out -- absolutely makes the movie worth watching. He ends up being trained by the famous war hero Rita (Emily Blunt) -- turns out she was caught in a time loop, too, but lost it -- in an attempt to destroy the alien threat.

Oh right, the world’s military is fighting these crazy alien things. And the soldiers are equipped with exoskeleton fighting suits.

Recommendation
Action and scifi fans. Duh.

Feels
Fun and action-y, with a hint of Oceans 11 elaborate social misdirection. The plot is smart without being wrapped up in its own complexity. The characters are engaging.

Favorites
The movie was surprisingly subtle and heartfelt about how Cruise was changing as he repeats the same day for who-knows-how-long. On the surface, he’s just memorizing the day and learning how to fight… but if you pay attention, you actually see him changing as a person. I love it when movies don’t shove this stuff down your throat.

I also liked the trust between the two characters -- he trusts her training and guidance, she trusts his knowledge of the day. Teamwork!

Least favorites
I really have no complaints. Of course there were some parts of the plot that don’t make all that much sense, you have to suspend disbelief about certain alien things, and the characters make some stupid decisions, but… it’s an action movie.

So what did I really think?

Click "read more"... massive spoilers ahead!

Etiquette & Espionage // Gail Carriger {Audiobook}

I listen to a lot of audiobooks (no way!) on the way to and from work, but at work I’m mostly limited to music, stand-up comedy, and whatever audiobooks I can find on Spotify or Google Play.

UNTIL NOW!

Overdrive sent an email out a few weeks ago that they would be adding an in-browser player, similar to their in-browser reader for ebooks. I just tried it out for the first time, aaaaand it’s fantastic. I haven’t tried it on my phone yet, but the phone app lets you download files to play, so that might be friendlier for my data plan.

Why I'm reading
I was just looking through Overdrive for something to test out the in-browser audiobook reader, and this seemed interesting.

Where I got the book
Overdrive, Greenwich library.

Expectations
Your standard YA fare, hopefully not too self-involved or full of tropes.

So how was it?

Set in a Victorian steampunk era, the Finishing School series follows the rambunctious Sophronia as she’s whisked away Hogwarts-style to Mademoiselle Geraldine's finishing school… except it doesn’t seem to be a normal finishing school. She meets a variety of friends, learns skills like eyelash-flutter manipulation and wafting poisonous perfume, and embarks on various little plots and adventures.

It's definitely meant for the younger side of the YA audience, but it's a nice guilty pleasure read you don't actually have to feel all that guilty about.

Recommendation
Younger YA readers or older readers looking for something quick and fun; fans of the “special school” trope (like Harry Potter’s Hogwarts); steampunk fans.

Feels
Fun, light-hearted, with somewhat believable characters (if not plot).

Favorites
Sophronia’s friends are extremely tropey, but they’re done well and don’t feel fake or forced. Some of the stuff they learn in class is hilarious, particularly anything having to do with their "decolletage"...

Least favorites
There wasn’t anything I particularly disliked. Everything is predictable and tropey, but the story isn’t trying to be anything it’s not.

Writing style
As far as the writing itself goes, I had no urge to pull out the red pen. The teenage characters and fairly simple action/spy plot make this clearly a YA book, but with not quite as much focus romantic sub-plots (although there are several), and Sophronia actually pulls off the “just a normal girl” trope by 1) actually acting like a normal, reasonably headstrong girl, 2) not making a big deal about how normal/not special/average she is, and 3) not describing herself every five sentences. I'm fairly certain I didn't even know her hair color until several chapters in.

Storm Front // Jim Butcher

I don’t think Connecticut knows how to spring -- which, hey, I’m not complaining that it warmed up so fast. After an extremely snowy winter, we had about a month of foggy, chilly ~20 degree weather, then one day hit 70, then another week of ~20, and suddenly early summer. One of my professors back in college said she’d never understood spring until she experienced it in England, where apparently the seasons don’t flip overnight. This is how you know I’m from Connecticut : talking about the weather is practically our national pastime.  

Why I'm reading
I watched a few episodes of the TV show, and it was pretty good.

Where I got the book
ebook from Greenwich Library, using the Overdrive app. Berlin-Peck lists both collections of the Dresden series, but weirdly enough the first set is “unavailable” -- not borrowed, just unavailable.

Expectations
Honestly? John Constantine.

So how was it?

I couldn’t finish this. I just couldn’t. I got a few chapters in, and gave up. Maybe if it was a short story I could have persevered, but even then, it didn’t have the infuriating unintentional humor of subatomic dinosaurs.

Harry Dresden is a wizard private eye -- yes, you read that right, he’s a wizard named Harry, in a book published three years after the first Harry Potter -- in a world run by shadowy wizard councils, mafia bosses, and good-cop bad-cop tough-but-also-somehow-feminine-hot-female-cop / annoying-ugly-skeptic-male-cop duos. Sounds pretty interesting, right? But the writing was just excruciating.

I can 110% understand how this would make an engaging TV show, because -- unless some very strange choices are made -- a TV scifi hero isn’t going to spend the entire first episode monologuing about himself as things happen in the background. Since the problem is bad characterization, even a minimally engaging lead actor could make the series actually interesting.

And yeah, a lot of long series take a while to get better -- to grow their beard, as it were. I have no doubt that the later books are better… but better than this still isn’t worth it for me.

Recommendation
I just can’t recommend this, but hey, I guess it works for a lot of people. If you’re looking for a quirky, noir, slightly humorous, slightly sci-fi, down-on-his-luck private detective that’s actually well written, check out Douglas Adams’ Dirk Gently.

Feels
Self-involved. Lame. Unbearably, ignorantly, "look at the gams on that, uh... bossy strong female character who won't sleep with me" sexist. If a book can dwell on itself, that’s what it seems to be doing.

Favorites
I can't even.

Least favorites
He’s a pretty big Marty Stu, and a little bit neckbeardy, to be honest. Opening doors for women, with a couple of paragraphs explaining his old-fashioned philosophy, and dropping off-hand comments to the reader about all his Dangerous Wizarding Powers. He’s a super powerful, super impressive wizard -- we know this because he tells us, not because of context clues, or characterization, or even seeing him use his awesome powers. It’s just constant, constant talking about himself.

Writing style
It’s trying -- and failing -- to be noir. The fact that Dresden talks about himself constantly doesn’t just make me dislike the character; it’s bad writing, and terrible world-building. He’s constantly dropping hints about himself, which I imagine are supposed to build mystery and suspense, but it has all the subtlety of a bowling ball out a window. No, I take that back -- a bowling ball out a window has more intrigue than these books.

So what did I really think?

Click "read more"

Mad Max // George Miller {Movie}

Ugh. Can I just say -- a plate full of edamame does not constitute “vegetables,” not even with the little bits of shredded carrot. We went out with some of Alan’s friends for this one, and I was not impressed by the Chinese (?) fusion place we went. I think it was supposed to be French/Chinese fusion, but it was just Americanized Chinese take-out with fancy plates and a few odd ingredients. It wasn’t bad, but… meh.

Anyway!  

Why I'm watching
Well, yes, partially Tom Hardy, but honestly the movie looks like great scifi dystopian action.

Where I saw the movie
Middletown. The theater was super tiny… I’m not sure why we went there for an action movie. Once we walked over to the parking lot, I realized I’d been here before with Abby to see that sort of magic-themed Ocean’s 13 bank robbery movie with Morgan Freeman, Ariadne, and the kid who played Zuckerman Now You See Me.

Expectations
Boom.

So how was it?

The entire thing is more or less a chase scene. 

It was pretty much everything you could ever want out of a dystopian action movie. Fantastic cinematography, high caliber actors, self-aware absurdity, engaging characters (heroes and villains!), crazy sets and wardrobe, world building, an impressive lack of spoon-feeding… just solid, awesome, and chock full of explosions. And on top of all that, a female-heavy cast (without making a point of it) and fairly feminist plot.

Mad Max is played by the gorgeous and increasingly non-verbal Tom Hardy, Furiosa by the badass Charlize Theron, and a host of excellent supporting actors rounds out the cast.

Recommendation
Action fans, scifi fans, and/or feminists.

Feels
Like a solid, classic 80s scifi flick -- and I'm not just talking about the visuals. Beautiful cinematography, fantastic world building, simple-but-solid plots and themes, absolute unapologetic absurdity, and none of the overly twisty-turny plot shenanigans that have been so popular in the last decade.

Favorites
I can’t choose. Doof (the guitar guy). The two lead actors, who were able to crunch so much into just one glance that the usual action movie dialogue tropes weren't necessary. The world building. The wives. How every single character was a solid, recognizable, individual personality.

Least favorites
Max was pretty quiet -- which I didn’t have a problem with at all -- but since they went that route, I think they should have made it a more deliberate character trait. There are a few scenes that make a point of how non-verbal he is, but several scenes just seemed a little unbalanced, like they forgot to write in his dialog.

Cinematography
I remember thinking about the cinematography in Blade Runner -- gorgeous, sure, but it was just rammed down your throat. HEY LOOK, STOP AND LOOK, LOOK AT THIS SET, LOOK AT HOW WE SET THIS SHIT UP, IT LOOKS LIKE A PAINTING LOOK LOOK LOOK.

This... was not that. There were a handful of incredibly gorgeous shots, but they always fit with the flow of the movie, had elements of movement and good timing, and told you something about the characters. They weren’t just pretty shots.

And yes, yes I did tag this as road trip.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy // Douglas Adams {Original radio}

Greenwich just got the complete set of the original Hitchhiker’s Guide radio plays (which were eventually re-written into the first book) and I snatched them up.

I don’t need to go through yet another explanation of why Douglas Adams is fantastic...

I’m loving the voice actors (except maybe the Vogons, and nothing beats Stephen Fry’s Zaphod) and everything is fairly familiar. It was fairly easy to pick out some parts that were copied verbatim in the first book, a few parts that were left out of the book, quite a few sections that were expanded upon in the book, and only one or two things that actually changed. In the first few chapters, for example, the Vogon ships are called “saucers.” No one ended up laying in the mud at all, and the entire “sleepy Arthur fails to notice the big yellow thing” opening scene doesn’t happen. And unless I heard this incorrectly, and I don’t think I did, Arthur suggests the bulldozer driver could cover for him while he popped off to the pub -- not Ford.

After the first book -- the “primary phase” of the radio show -- however, things seem to be quite a bit different, unless I’ve vastly underestimated my memory of the rest of the books. In fact, the later ones seem to be supplementary to books that have already been published: Arthur can fly, but I don’t remember that being explained; he knows about Stavromula Beta, but again, not explained, etc. Definitely a great read/listen, although I found it a little more confusing and less structured than the books.

The Lays of Beleriand // J.R.R. Tolkien

Unfinished epic poems ; mainly the Ley of Leithian (following Beren and Luthien) and the the Lay of the Children of Hurin (following Turin). 

Where I got the book
A very expensive birthday and Christmas present.

Why I’m reading
I’ve loved Tolkien’s works since I read LoTR, but the Silmarillion really sealed my fate. The world he created is amazing.

Expectations
I’m halfway through this section right now. I remember expecting… well, more of the same, after finishing the BoLT. I was also expecting much more fragmentary works. 

So how was it?

The lays are… lays! They’re written as long poems. For some reason, I was not expecting that. I also wasn't expecting it to be so pleasant to read; I usually hate poetry. It reminds me of a fanfic drabble: every word chosen carefully, lots of rich details but nothing extraneous. Maybe when I have the house to myself I will read them aloud. {EDIT: I did, and it was amazing.}

"The Lay of Leithian" is the familiar story of Beren and Lúthien. The rhyming couplets are perfect for this story; I prefer it over all the other prose versions. It also has a lot more detail. "The Lay of the Children of Húrin" is in alliterative verse, and I enjoyed it, although maybe not as much. I don’t know a lot about poetry, but alliterative verse was a much better choice than rhyming couplets, since it’s a much darker story.

Favorites
Lúthien faces down Morgoth. She is brilliant as always, but it’s the characterization of Morgoth himself that gets to me: you can feel his hatred of the Valar, how convincing he can be, and how twisted his view of the world. [Lúthien faces down Morgoth. She is brilliant as always, but it’s the characterization of Morgoth himself that gets to me: you can feel his hatred of the Valar, how convincing he can be, and how twisted his view of the world. (hide spoiler)]

Least favorites
None of it is finished! Luckily we know how the stories end, but I would love to read them all the way through in verse.

Writing style
Alliterative verse and rhyming couplets.

The works of J.R.R. Tolkien

 

I started reading Tolkien a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (...ok, a decade ago in Fairfield). The books were a huge part of my teenage years. I re-read them every once in a while, so I’ll probably review Tolkien’s main works a bit later. But for now, I’m inching my way through three fat volumes of Tolkien’s unfinished work, published and annotated by his son Christopher. Believe me, it’s not for the faint of heart. (Or the sleepy, which is why it’s taking me so long).

But first! The shortest-guide-ever to reading Tolkien:

1. Start with The Hobbit. It’s comparatively short and an excellent introduction to Tolkien’s world.
2. Loved it? Move on the The Lord of the Rings. Did you find hobbits suuuper boring? Trust me: plow through the first few chapters, until they get out of the Shire, and it gets a lot more action-packed.
3. Can’t get enough of dem elves? The Silmarillion might be for you. It can be a tough read, with sections that are all mystical-abstract-y, passages that get deep into geography or genealogy, and lots and lots and lots of names. For me, that’s part of the charm, along with the long and intricate history it builds. If you hit a chunk that you just can’t get through, just skim to the next part.
4. If The Silmarillion was a little too “out there” for you, The Children of Húrin might be more your speed. It’s a darker adventure set around two human characters, compiled by Christoper Tolkien but formatted like a full story.
5. Found yourself obsessed with Tolkien after all? You probably don’t need me to tell you that The Unfinished Tales and The History of Middle Earth are next on your plate. These works were published by Christopher Tolkien, and never fully finished or integrated together; Chris does a lot of piecing-together and version-control. It’s not a light read, but some of the stories in there are absolutely worth it.

Finally, Encyclopedia Arda and Wikipedia's Middle-earth Portal are your friends :)

I’m currently working my way through The History of Middle Earth as well as The Unfinished Tales. The copies I have were published together in The Complete History of Middle Earth, three super-thick books with Bible-thin pages (that's them over on the left). So far I’m through the first two volumes of HoME and halfway through the third. That means I'm only halfway through the first big book. I’m going to review them separately, because they were actually published separately… and because that’s a whole lot of pages and stories to summarize in one place.