Best of Apex Magazine. Volume 1

How fun is this cover?!

Where I got the book

LibraryThing Early Reviewers, as an eBook.

Why I’m reading

I just finished For Exposure, an autobiography by Jason Sizemore, the creator and editor of Apex Magazine -- so of course I want to see what all the fuss was about.

Expectations

A collection of (hopefully high-quality) scifi short stories. I’ve got to get the taste of Joy to the Worlds out of my mouth...

How was it?

I started this months ago, but just finished the last few. I love short stories, but collections are hard to finish than novels -- there’s no ‘what happens next?!’ when you finish each story in one sitting. The whole thing blew me away, really; I really haven’t been reading enough of this sort of thing. I was expecting much more strict scifi, but these stories were a fantastic mix of scifi, fantasy, horror (Gothic, not slasher), thought experiments, and old campfire ghost stories. What struck me is that these stories all played to the strengths of the short story, tossing the reader into the middle of a world and letting them figure things out as they go. Some felt unfinished or not fully realized, which isn’t a bad thing. Weirdly enough, it’s something I see often in good fanfiction: stories that are allowed to be ephemeral and experimental rather than definitive. The stories feel shorter than Joy to the Worlds, but I can’t tell if they’re actually shorter or just less painful to read…  

Jackalope Wives // Ursula Vernon
A short, dark fantasy story about shape-changing jackalope wives, in the style of an old fairy tale -- the kind that were weird and twisted and creepy as hell.  

Going Endo // Rich Larson
This whacks you right over the head with the sort of technobabble future-speak that usually comes off trite, but this time it sets a great mood -- it sounds like natural slang, and there are no Importantly Capitalized Nouns. It’s a slice of life from some kind of militarized bio-VR company engineer… and then also sex. Cheeky!

 Candy Girl // Chikodili Emelumadu
A quick and dirty voodoo story that's like something out of a dream - random and strange,but not terrifying. Wickedly vindictive.

 If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love // Rachel Swirsky
Starts out a bit like Neil Gaimon’s The Day the Saucers Came or If You Give a Mouse a Cookie -- mostly nonsense. Ends a bit like the song If You Could See Her from Cabaret.  

Advertising at the End of the World // Keffy R.M. Kehrli
A post-apocalyptic survivor and the hi-tech remnants of advertising culture. A little sad; probably a metaphor for old age. Strangely comfortable.  

The Performance Artist // Lettie Prell
A performance artist explores the connection between self and machines. I didn't really connect with this one, but, well... she nailed performance art. Imaginative, though.

A Matter of Shapespace // Brian Trent
All mass (humanity included) can be transmitted and manipulated electronically, through simple thought commands. A little like The Matrix, a little like I, Rowboat I like it. http://www.flurb.net/1/doctorow.htm  

Falling Leaves // Liz Argall
Two outcast teen girls connect (sort of) in a post apocalyptic society. Post apocalyptic teenage angst. Meh.  

Blood from Stone // Alethea Kontis
Summoning demons and dark, twisted love... except, yeah, I've read tons of stuff that's darker and more twisted. Your standard Gothic fare: not a bad read, but nothing special.  

Sexagesimal // Katharine E.K. Duckett
This one was weird - a trippy and very unique take on death, with an afterlife that runs on a memory-based economy.  

Multo // Samuel Marzioli
Are you afraid of the dark? A simple story that perfectly captures the old childhood fear that kept us tucked safely under our quilts at night.  

Keep Talking // Marie Vibbert
Like contact, a little bit, I guess? But with autism and interpretive dance? I wasn’t a fan of this one.  

Remembery Day // Sarah Pinsker
Another one about memory, this time focusing on memory and war. Definitely a thought exercise on the question of memory: are we better off remembering bad things (like war)? If we could forget, should we -- as an individual, and as a society?

Blood on Beacon Hill // Russell Nichols
Immortal vampires are just as messed up by family and society as mortals are.  

The Green Book // Amal El-Mohtar
Epistolary. A man, his mentor, a talking book who was once a girl, a sort of shadowy religious order, and absolutely zero context. Interesting.  

L’espirit de L’escalier // Peter M. Ball
An endless stairwell three sharpies and a bottle of ashes: that’s it. I love the lack of context.  
Still Life (A Sexagesimal Fairy Tale) // Ian Tregillis
In a palace that time forgot, a clock maker - the only person who can age - falls in love and builds magical time pieces.  

Build-a-Dolly // Ken Liu
We're cruel to our toys.  

Armless Maidens of the American West // Genevieve Valentine
An armless girl (woman?) wandering the forest -- like a local ghost story, except everyone knows she's real and just doesn't pay much attention. A commentary on ignoring suffering of others simply because it's the way things are.

Pocosin // Ursula Vernon
A tired witch and a dying possum god. Very atmospheric.  

She Gave Her Heart, He Took Her Marrow // Sam Fleming
A mentally ill girl in the middle of a sort-of zombie apocalypse. Very confusing at first. Err… very confusing at the end, too. Not quite a zombie story, but I got the same sort of vibe.

Fragile Things // Neil Gaiman {Audiobook}

Why I'm reading
Neil Gaiman is fantastic.

Where I got the book
Audiobook from Greenwich. Again.

So how was it?

A collection of short stories and poetry featuring Gaiman’s unique mixture of spooky, creepy, morbid, snarky, dark horror. Also includes lots a little tidbits of poetry interspersed between the chapters, and introductions/context in the foreword. The audiobook is read by Gaiman as well -- he’s brilliant.

The Mapmaker 
I wasn’t really sure about this one. It’s the story of a Chinese emperor who creates a miniature map of China in his garden. It’s extremely accurate and a huge drain of resources; then he dies, and the map is abandoned and grows over. Something about transience, maybe, and the whims of people in power.

A Study in Emerald 
Oh. my. god. Oh my god. I can’t even. This is a retelling of the Sherlock Holmes story A Study in Scarlet within the Cthulhu universe, where the ruling class consists of Lovecraftian monsters. That’s right: Gaiman wrote crossover fanfiction, and it is fantastic. Sent me into mental cascade failure by the end. I made Alan listen to it, it was so good. Read it here!

October in the Chair 
The seasons tell stories around the campfire; October tells an oddly peaceful horror story about a young runaway boy playing in a haunted graveyard. The framing (i.e. the seasons) was more memorable than the individual stories. There was a moment where the ghost’s story reminded me of Bradbury’s "Yes, We'll Gather at the River" -- sure enough, it’s dedicated to him.

Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire 
An author struggles to write realistic fiction, in a world where elaborate Gothic horror constitutes ‘realistic.’ A fun little turn-up of expectations.

The Flints of Memory Lane 
A tiny little story where the author -- like several of these, I’m not entirely sure if it’s really Gaiman, a fictional Gaiman, or just an arbitrary fictional author -- encounters a chilling gypsy woman. There’s no real backstory or follow-up, and that seems to be the point; some things are just unexplained and creepy.

Closing Time 
A few pub (club) goers tell ghost stories before closing up shop for the night. The main ghost story follows a young boy who falls in with three slightly older and more delinquent boys; they find a creepy old playhouse, and the older boys disappear inside. Turns out the youngest of the three is in the club. Nothing is really resolved. I’m not sure if it’s an allegory for loss of innocence, child abuse, or just the scattershot nature of stories.

Bitter Grounds 
A man drops his life and picks up another one at random, following where it leads, until he ends up at an anthropology conference in New Orleans and … something something something zombies? It’s a rambling story that actually makes sense as you read, but doesn’t have a cohesive plot.

Other People 
A man is tortured until he understands why he deserves to be tortured. Creepy and sad, although it’s hard to feel one way or the other about the main character without knowing why he deserves torture.

Keepsakes and Treasures: A Love Story 
A story about a (psychopathic?) young orphan overcoming his terrible upbringing, meeting the mysterious and insanely wealthy Mr. Alice, and becoming his devoted right-hand man. Surprisingly nasty; disturbingly satisfying in a way that’s seriously Not Good. No, despite my vocabulary, this is nothing like Sherlock!

Good Boys Deserve Favors 
Strangely endearing, I can’t really call this one ‘horror.’ It’s the story of a boy who takes up playing the double bass, although he has no particular passion for it -- and has one spontaneous moment of connection with the instrument. There wasn’t anything about this story that really stood out, but I liked the sense of having one perfect in-the-moment experience.

The Facts in the Case of the Departure of Miss Finch 
The narrator is invited to entertain his friends’ standoffish acquaintance; they all go to a really weird circus performance. Well written and entertaining (of course) but I didn’t really connect with this one.

Harlequin Valentine
I like Harlequin type characters (incidentally, Harley Quinn was my Halloween costume!) so I enjoyed this quasi-mythical take on the character/archetype of Italian theater. The story is sad if you empathize with the male main character, but delightful and fun if you consider Harlequin the main character -- exactly the kind of dark humor you want from a Harlequin. And his seamless transition into real life was so cool.

The Problem of Susan 
Another sort-of-fanfiction, this time in the Narnia universe. Not being familiar with Narnia, the source of her turmoil isn’t quite clear to me -- but I always appreciate fanfiction that goes for a darker, realistic, more complicated interpretation of simple/idealistic stories.

Instructions 
A poem with instructions on what to do if you find yourself in a fairy tale. Similar to The Evil Overlord List.

How Do You Think It Feels? 
A weird little story about a guy who cheats, falls in love with his young mistress, gets his heart broken… and makes a gross little stone demon? I didn’t connect with this one at all. Also, holy shit, this was porny! I mean, hey, I regularly listen to worse podfic, but Overdrive occasionally plays snippets before switching over to headphones, and I was listening to this at work D:

Feeders and Eaters 
A weird not-quite-zombie story with this undercurrent of unhealthy compulsion. It doesn’t quite make sense -- shouldn’t there be a more straightforward way to eat? -- but somehow that makes it creepier.

In the End 
Genesis in reverse; the last book of the Bible. Weird.

Goliath 
A little side story set in the Matrix universe, following one human as the war causes glitches in the Matrix. I loved the experience of a mostly regular human within a glitching Matrix!

Pages from a Journal Found in a Shoebox Left in a Greyhound Bus Somewhere Between Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Louisville, Kentucky 
A circular, dizzy adventure that feels like something between heatstroke and time travel.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties 
Two teenage boys -- your typical extrovert and introvert -- wander into a party full of alien tourists, looking to hit on girls. Apparently this is going to be a movie! I don’t think it has enough plot to be a movie, but John Cameron Mitchell is directing, so it can’t not be great.

The Day the Saucers Came 
I’ve heard this one before; it’s cute. As the world falls into elaborate and redundant ruin, the author is preoccupied with his love life.

Sunbird 
The gastronomical adventures of the Epicurean Society, an ages-long society dedicated to eating everything you could possibly eat. They’ve run out of new things to try, when one of the older members suggests the mysterious sunbird in Egypt. As fanciful as it was, this one felt weirdly reassuring.

Also, I couldn’t help but picture the character Methos from Highlander.

Inventing Aladdin 
The inner thoughts of Scheherazade -- the “author” of stories like Aladdin and Arabian Nights -- as she invents new passages every night so her sultan husband won’t behead her. Exactly as I’ve always pictured her; what an awful situation.

The Monarch of the Glen
A crazy, blurry take on Norse? pagan? mythology, (apparently) part of his American Gods novel. It follows Shadow, a reincarnation of a Norse hero, as he wanders into a small town. He ends up playing bodyguard -- and then the entertainment -- at a strange pagan party.

How Did You Get This Number? // Sloane Crosley {Audiobook}

Why I'm listening
I was just looking for something slightly humorous, and I liked the squinty suspicious bear on the cover.

Where I got the book
Greenwich

Expectations
Funny essays.

So how was it?

Honestly? Not memorable. I’m writing this a few months after listening (oops!) and I had to look up what it was about. And yeah, it really was just a bunch of amusing essays/stories from a young woman who lives in New York. But I liked it well enough.

Recommendation
Good background noise while you’re doing something mindless.

Feels
Amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny.

Favorites
Her nature outing with a bunch of fellow bridesmaids.

Least favorites
Well, it wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny.

Writing style
Honest, not too much navel-gazing.

I Sing the Body Electric // Ray Bradbury {Audiobook}

I feel bad putting this in (it totally isn’t going in my Goodreads or LibraryThing) because I never finished it. It just wasn’t working for me in the car… every time I started a new short story, I had to re-invest and figure out a whole new world, plot, characters, etc. Badbury is definitely more “reading on a sunny bench” material, not “stay awake and entertained during your two hour commute” material. It doesn’t help that it was front-loaded with several stories I didn’t like.

"The Kilimanjaro Device"
A stranger shows up, looking for a local old man who has passed away -- an author who inspired him, and many others, but who didn't die at the right time. Enter his wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey runs-on-wanting-it-hard-enough pickup truck. I dunno, I really just did not connect with this one.

"The Terrible Conflagration Up at the Place"
Drunken Irishmen plot to overthrow a local lord, because that's what all the cool kids are doing. The lord ends up quietly bamboozling them into carrying paintings around. Another one I didn't really connect with.

"Tomorrow's Child"
Through the magic of Victorian technobabble, a young couple gives birth to a small blue pyramid. Weird, but interesting.

"The Women"
Wife vs. mysterious female seaweed entity. The imagery was cool, but I wasn't a huge fan of the way he characterized women/femininity. Not to mention the complete lack of communication and empathy between wife and husband. Why try to trick your husband by sending him on stupid errands for hotdogs and sunblock, instead of, oh, maybe "I don't know why, but I don't feel safe; can we go somewhere else?"

"The Inspired Chicken Motel"
A family during the Great Depression. A chicken farm. An egg with a mysterious message on it. What? I liked the family dynamics, at least.

“Downwind from Gettysburg”
A descendant of John Wilkes Booth murders an electric Abraham Lincoln. Actually pretty good, although not nearly as sci-fi as it sounds.

"Yes, We'll Gather at the River"
Inhabitants of a small town come to terms with a new highway, which will take traffic and commerce away from their community. I kept waiting for something sci-fi to happen… or, I don’t know, anything to happen.

“The Cold Wind and the Warm”
A gaggle of sweet, pretty, effervescent, attractive men descend onto a traditional Irish town. This was an insanely fun read, and not just because of the casting call going on in my head.

"Night Call, Collect"
 A man stranded for decades, alone, on the moon, is terrorized by interactive recordings he set for himself way back in his younger days. Felt like very classic scifi.

"The Haunting of the New"
An author comes back to find his raunchy, rich old flame is depressed, and her home has kicked her out. I wasn’t sure how to take this one; I liked it -- I liked her -- but the ending was very sex-negative.

"I Sing the Body Electric!"
After their mother dies, a young family brings in an electric grandma to take care of them. WONDERFUL -- reminds me of Data from Star Trek, for obvious reasons. I kept imagining Cate Blanchett playing an ageless robotic grandma.

 "The Tombling Day"
A family digs up an old graveyard to make room for new construction. One of the graves belongs to grandma’s ex-fiance, who died when they were young -- and he hasn’t aged a day. I didn’t like grandma, but the story was weird and interesting.

"Any Friend of Nicholas Nickleby's Is a Friend of Mine"
An anachronistic Charles Dickens rolls up into town and makes friends with a young boy. Interesting read, although it felt like it was supposed to resonate with something deep inside the reader… and whatever that something is, I don’t have it.

As-yet unlistened-to :
"Heavy-Set"
"The Man in the Rorschach Shirt"
"Henry the Ninth"
"The Lost City of Mars"
“The Blue Bottle”
“One Timeless Spring”
“The Parrot who Met Papa”
“The Burning Man”
“A Piece of Wood”
“The Messiah”
“G.B.S. : mark V”
“The Utterly Perfect Murder”
“Punishment Without Crime”
“Getting Through Sunday Somehow”
“Drink Entire : Against the Madness of Crowds”
"Christus Apollo"

Astounding Stories // multiple authors

Finished the October 1930 Astounding Stories of Super-Science!

Some of these would make good Twilight Zone style TV episodes. A couple of them are hilari-bad. They’re chock full of familiar Sci-Fi tropes and early imaginings of the future, along with some fairly awful science.

Stolen Brains // S. P. Meek 
A Sherlock/Watson-style duo solve a case involving mysterious amnesia, an unexplained spherical ship, and a brain-goo-stealing megalomaniac dwarf. Simple, but not painful.

The Invisible Death // Victor Rousseau 
Invisible Comrad Mad-Scientist-cum-Emperor decimates the United States with fuzzy science, Explains His Plan to the Manly Hero, and is betrayed by Misguided Female Love Interest. An adventure in thirteen verbose chapters.

Prisoners of the Electron // Robert H. Leitfred 
A honey-I-shrunk-the kids plot, with kitschy futuristic inventions, dumb-as-bricks female characters, awkward and uncomfortable romance, heaps of treknobabble, and -- I kid you not -- subatomic dinosaurs. The author tortures his thesaurus and describes his characters’ eyes no less than 9 times before anyone even gets shrunk. I could go on. and on. and ON. A fantastic candidate for literary MST3000.

Nanette gazed with staring eyes... 

Also, can we appreciate this stunning feat of metaphor and thesaurus abuse?

Dazzling white teeth caught the glow of the blue-white incandescents along the platform, and became under the bow of her red lips a string of priceless pearls.

Jetta of the Lowlands (Part 2 of 3) // Ray Cummings 
An interesting look at climate change from a 1930s perspective.

An Extra Man // Jackson Gee 
Something goes wrong in the invention of a Victoria-age transporter -- yes, a transporter, like Star Trek. In terms of prose, this one strikes an incredible balance between vivid and (deliberately?) absurd; it reminds me of Doctor Who, somehow. Best of the bunch.